Why dating intelligent women scares men — or is it just inferiority complex?

Studies said fragile male egos might’ve triggered this effect.

“I like talking to you as a friend. But as a partner, you would be a headache and I would be scared of you.”

“Is it because I am intimidating?”

“Your intelligence is.”

I had this conversation recently with one of my closest officemate. It was an eye-opener for me as I lived 27 years of my life, believing that my mind is one of my profound abilities.

I took pride for my mind. I took pride in being the academic one. The fact-chatter. The glossary. The intelligent child out of my siblings. I took pride in my abilities to speak out about knowledge and I just genuinely, love wisdom. The ability that put me through living is always my mind. It was a gift.

Until then, I didn’t know that it was a scary gift. As a woman, I found that men are scared of wisdom. Because you can’t be a woman and have wisdom, it’d make you unapproachable. They’ll call you inflexible, unable to enjoy life, rigid, cold, soulless and intimidating. I was known as an angry woman. I was at rage.

My friends advised me all the time, that I should’ve stay quiet when men gave their opinion in certain things. That I should never stated my principle so clearly, that I should put more efforts on being a beauty than having unnecessary thoughts and too loud on voicing my opinions. Be a demure and feminine woman, because men dislike rebellious women. You need to be soft in speaking out, yet you need to have strong opinions. But you can’t be aggressive because women’s supposed to be demure and fragile. You can’t speak like men did because it’s vulgar. They say you need to change for the sake of religion, wear your hijab properly but it’s okay for me too see your aurat, because I want to marry you — men says. But you can’t say nothing, you’re a woman for god sake!

And basically, shut your mouth and stick your ass for me. Cook, clean and just never, have a opinion of some sort.

Guys like the idea of dating a smart woman — just not smarter than them. A force to be reckon and they hate if they lose the power to be in control and have their greasy claws on us. Well, by no means that I am stating a feminist view. I am not going to beat around the bush.

Ladies, the world is fucked up. And for once I need you to see that men are not our protectors. The more you fall in line, the more you get manipulated. You think really that all that sacrifices will keep a man? No, honey, it gets you manipulated.

Feminine energy? In this generation where every woman is held hostage at everything they did, forced to earn as high as men and need to fulfilled the sky high ceiling cap of responsibilities, you think we can be at peace and basked in femininity? Women are hunted by the stigmas, the outdated traditions and the paternal norms. Men failed us as fathers, men failed us as husbands and men failed us as friends. Yet, we are beholden. Yet, we owed you our bodies and our soul.

I was never a firm believer of simmering down my passion for life and my voice for justice. I never been the one to stay even when a man disrespect me. I was crazy and I owned it as my most prized identity. If intelligence scared men off, a repellent of some sort then I’ll let it be. I wasn’t made to fall in line and I am never gonna be that girl. My words was tangible but their attitude that triggered that was not seen.

I’ll never stoop that low to impress guys and make them choose me. I rather be rejected for my loudness than chosen because I am the easiest to manipulate. You don’t own me. Your insecurity is not my responsibility. Projecting your hatred to me is just you projecting your lack of knowledge, confidence and security.

If I were any ounce of intimidating, and guys get scared of me for having opinions, so be it. The right one will come and celebrates my flares, my intimidating streaks and my voices.

And, date your own league. Never try to accomplish what you never can handle. In this case, your fragile male egos is your responsibility.